Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Still Guilty

We said in the post "Guilty as Charged", that on many occasions we also use this feeling of guilt as our stealth weapon, especially, if overt vengeance is not possible or workable for a given situation. We tell people (usually, a loved one) what we have done for them. We show them the long list of things we have given or done for them and the almost blank list of things they have given or done for us (or we just make our accounting mentally).

Sometimes, we show how pitiable we are, and how miserable they have made our lives. (The problem here is that most times, we do become miserable, as a matter of fact.)

It seems clear to me that if one lost one's self-esteem, and start to feel self-pity; it is the same mechanism of the consciousness working, trying to bring itself back to equilibrium -- by feeling guilty ourselves or by making the other feel guilty.

There are times when we employ our vindication through inaction or through silence.

Of course, one could think of a hundred more examples and a hundred more ways of feeling guilty and how we make others feel guilty. But I am not ashamed to say that I am too lazy to enumerate more. I have no excuse; but nevertheless, I do not feel guilty.

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