While writing this post, images from one of my favorite French films comes to mind. Amelie, the main character, is in the Metro station while the old 1931 classic song "Guilty" by Al Bowlly is being played on an old portable record player. She put some coins in the old beggar's tin can, but the old man refused the alms telling Amelie that he does not work on Sundays. Anyway, this post is about that nasty feeling when we feel we did something wrong (or for that matter, forgot to do something right) -- guilt!
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We think we are perfect. Is this the reason why we could never admit to a mistake or fault? But, on the other hand, why is it that we also almost always have this guilty feeling?
Is it because the consciousness think it is perfect? or is it the biographical "I" that has this illussion? Why is it that we are always looking for a "culprit" -- somebody else to blame for our misfortunes, even for our own mistakes? Especially, when something is wrong and we are angry, and we have to justify our anger. At times, even if there is nothing wrong with the situation at hand, but anyway, we are angry, we have to have someone convenient to blame, someone we can vent our frustrations on, our anger, our inner violence.
After venting our anger or revenge, a sort of temporary balance is restored in our inner world, because a sort of catharsis transpires and some of the excessively hot steam is released. But, almost always, as we mentioned in the entry, "Illusory Equilibrium", an over-reaction happens and we feel somewhat guilty, especially, if the other does not retaliate. The more disproportionate our reaction, the worst our feeling of guilt.
On the other hand, we sometimes also use guilt as our way of revenge. If overt retaliation is not possible, we usually resort to covert form of vengeance -- making the other feel guilty.
We will continue with this theme of guilt in the next post.
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And what about collective guilt? Is there such a thing? Do the people that used the atomic bomb and killed hundreds of thousands of people in the last world war have a guilty feeling hidden below the surface? How do they reconcile with this fact? And even if the decision to use the atomic bomb was not theirs, but their (long dead) leaders' alone -- is it possible that they still carry this burden of guilt even after more than 60 years have passed?
How about collective reconciliation – is there such a thing?
To be continued...
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A REFLECTION ON VENGEANCE, VIOLENCE, NONVIOLENCE & RECONCILIATION
